Sad news

I'm sitting here typing with tears streaming down my face.

A very dear friend of mine had a baby on July 19. The delivery was easy and little A scored 9 on her APGAR. She was a perfect, beautiful girl. A few hours after delivery, she started turning blue. After her rushing her NICU, it was determined that she was bleeding profusely in her abdomen. She was life-flighted to an awesome children's hosptial where they were better equipped to treat her. After having 2 surgeries to remove a tumor on her kidney and stop the bleeding, my friends received the results today.

Little A's tumor is a very rare, very aggressive form of pediatric cancer. She will be removed from life support tomorrow afternoon. I spoke to my friend the day after A was born. She was, of course, devastated, but also hopeful that the doctors would find and fix the problem. We haven't talked since; she's kept everyone up-to-date via email and the hospital care webpage. I can't even imgaine how she is feeling now. I'm sure she's spending the night holding A, so I definitely don't want to disturb her now.

I'm on modified bedrest and know that I shouldn't make the 5 hour drive to the funeral, but I really, really want to be there for my friend. Rationally, I know that it would be better to visit later when I'm healthier and we can spend some time together, but my heart just hurts so much and I want to say good-bye. I know that she would want me to stay here and take of this baby, but it doesn't really make me feel better.

Please keep my friends in your thoughts and prayers to give them the strength to deal with such a tragic loss.